Realizing you were wrong January 2, 2007

It’s no secret that I’m unsure of my relationship.  I really don’t know if this is the guy that I am willing to spend the rest of my life with.  I don’t know if there is ANY guy that I would feel that way about.  I’m sure it causes me to put undue pressure on [...]

Forgotten emotions November 27, 2006

Sometimes I hate dreams.  They can feel so real and awake emotions that would be better off dormant.  They can remind you of feelings that you’d long forgotten. 
Last night I had a dream about P.  It’s been about 2 and a half years since we were together and for the most part, I can say [...]

Trade-off November 21, 2006

Things are different now.  It might just be temporary, but I hope not.  I’m feeling like I don’t want to be without him… ever.  He’s making the effort – every day, in every area of our relationship.  I feel like he really loves me and wants to make me happy. 
He holds my hand when we [...]

Mirage November 16, 2006

For the last decade of my life, I feel like I’ve been searching for a destination… but each time I think I get there, I see that it’s actually a mirage… and I look ahead to the next one.  I know I’m not the only one who does this — there are a million quotes about “living each day [...]

lost October 24, 2006

I can’t believe that people die.  Everyday people die.   As I go about my daily life, oblivious to the pain, saddness and suffering of others, someone’s life comes to an end… someone grieves the loss of a friend.  I don’t understand death.  Because of that, I don’t understand life.
How do I open my eyes?  Why do I [...]

Men vs. women (part I) September 27, 2006

As usual, my alarm went off at 4:30am this morning.  I woke him up and got out of bed.  As usual, he rolled over into my warm spot and proceeded to go back to sleep… if he was even really awake to begin with.
I do this every weekday morning. I get up three hours earlier than I have [...]

Only 50 years left… September 26, 2006

My father usually has great advice. He’s the person I turn to when I want someone to be open minded, yet honest with me about things.
Recently, I had a conversation with my Dad regarding the state of the world. I voiced my disapproval of people bringing children into the world because they do it for selfish reasons [...]