Realizing you were wrong January 2, 2007

It’s no secret that I’m unsure of my relationship.  I really don’t know if this is the guy that I am willing to spend the rest of my life with.  I don’t know if there is ANY guy that I would feel that way about.  I’m sure it causes me to put undue pressure on [...]

Forgotten emotions November 27, 2006

Sometimes I hate dreams.  They can feel so real and awake emotions that would be better off dormant.  They can remind you of feelings that you’d long forgotten. 
Last night I had a dream about P.  It’s been about 2 and a half years since we were together and for the most part, I can say [...]

Trade-off November 21, 2006

Things are different now.  It might just be temporary, but I hope not.  I’m feeling like I don’t want to be without him… ever.  He’s making the effort – every day, in every area of our relationship.  I feel like he really loves me and wants to make me happy. 
He holds my hand when we [...]

Messed up October 20, 2006

I don’t think he’ll ever walk away from me.  I’m not sure why.  I don’t think I deserve his loyalty because I have not been so loyal.  I’ve been willing to walk away more than once.  They weren’t threats.  I wasn’t bluffing.  Maybe that’s why he’s never doubted me – he can tell I’ve been [...]

Admit it October 19, 2006

Don’t question it. It makes you feel like shit and it doesn’t solve anything. It’s pointless. It serves only to make you more confused and troubled than you already are.
The alternative? Go with it. Take a deep breath. Relax. It’s harder than it sounds.
I think most people know the answers to their “questions”.  The reason they [...]

Pork wrap October 12, 2006

I was so upset, I could feel my heart pounding in my neck.  Maybe I’m over-reacting, but it made me question everything – the entire relationship. 
He definitely had a hard day — it rained and he had been soaked for hours. The 9:30pm bedtime was long past and he arrived home just before 11pm, knowing [...]

Men vs. women (part I) September 27, 2006

As usual, my alarm went off at 4:30am this morning.  I woke him up and got out of bed.  As usual, he rolled over into my warm spot and proceeded to go back to sleep… if he was even really awake to begin with.
I do this every weekday morning. I get up three hours earlier than I have [...]

Fairy tale September 25, 2006

He recently informed me that my life thus far has been a fairy tale. His exact words were “You realize you were living a fairy tale life?”. The comment was in response to mine – “So this is what my life has become?”.
There is it is then. The best of my life is over and I should just come to terms [...]